oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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