she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
