the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
