1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Two words: nipple clamps
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