i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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