Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
