I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think your dad took our porno
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
