Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
