You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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