we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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