Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
