just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
