I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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