so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
