Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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