last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
