Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize