he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
