Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
