She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
