You can't special order awesome
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
