was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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