so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
