Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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