Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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