I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
