Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
