Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
