If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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