Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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