i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
