I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't deserve a penis
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
