return my video game
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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