it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
