Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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