just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
