Pants 0. Shit 1.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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