"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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