why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
