sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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