he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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