So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
