Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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