well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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