I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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