i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
