To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
