why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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