You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
