I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
