wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
