If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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