There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
