the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
