he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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