you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
