Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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