im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
