Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
