You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
