it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize