i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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