Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
