The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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