Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
