Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
