and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
