I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
