she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
