oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
