I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
